The past two years since Jaeli was born with complex medical conditions has been a tough two years. We're approaching her second birthday and I wonder where time has gone, who I am. Caring for a rare chromosome disorder child who is sick often has a way of doing that to you.
I spent most of 2010 in and out of the hospital with her, dropping everything in a moment's notice to drive to Children's Hospital Boston, where she gets her care when anything requiring an IV comes into play. She is the tough-stick queen and I can't thank enough Sesame Street's free educational videos on iTunes for getting her through tough procedure after tough procedure. This year has been a wonderful one so far. She's been sick lots, but all her sicknesses have been treatable at home.
It's difficult trying to figure out who I am now after all I've been through with Jaeli and the medical world. Writing is emotionally hard. Trauma has stretched its tentacles farther than it was supposed to.
Now that we're home more, we're looking at the house more. Jim put up some siding. It's nice to see. But we know the rest of the house needs to get finished. We're considering getting a loan.
The reason we started building without loans, to be debt-free, was because we had no other choice. OK--we did have a choice: take out a loan, default because we didn't have enough income to pay the monthly bills, and go to collections. I don't see that as a choice. It's unwise and being a bad steward. Sometimes, though, being a good steward means getting a loan. We have kids we're stewards of, and our trailer is telling us its time is short, especially with Jaeli now crawling.
We're better able to sustain a loan now that Jim runs the business he once worked for. It's a good thing: After Jaeli started going to Boston for treatment, we had to replace our car, and we bought new--first time ever--to have a reliable four-wheel-drive. Still, the economy is tough, he's a only a few years in as owner, and it's hard to know how things are going to go. The wrong kind of weather can significantly dampen his income.
Is getting a loan a dramatic shift from where we started six years ago? I don't think so. If we could afford it six years ago, we would have. And sought to pay it off as fast as possible to get out from under the debt. I could have resigned six years ago that debt-free, no loans was THE way to go for us, based on "this is what my life is now so this is what God must want." The hardships along the way, especially all those encountered with my youngest daughter, have taught me not to count things as fixed. I reserve that for Jesus and God's mandates. Anything else can change, and if it does, I need to shift. That goes for family, health, finances, plans... everything.
Jim called the local supply store the other week to get an estimate on how much it would cost us--at Jim's contractor prices--to finish the house.
Tech Tags: loans debt-free special needs construction hardship